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Rock the Talk® – Tweens & Teens


Understanding Brain Development During Adolescence 

Research has shown that the human brain does not complete development until our 20s to maybe even 30s. The frontal lobe, the part of the brain that manages impulse control, judgment, insight, and emotional control is still working to make neural connections that help us understand the consequences of our actions. Teenagers are not fully capable of protecting themselves, and in some ways, they need protection from themselves during these years.

Aren’t Teens Old Enough To Report?

Teenagers, are still children, incapable of fully understanding the power imbalance that exists when a juvenile is involved in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with an adult – which is why statutory rape laws exist. A child who may think it is a reflection of how mature they are to be in a sexual relationship with an adult, often grows up to realize that not only was the relationship inappropriate, it was manipulative and their abuser, often someone in the role of a mentor, was not acting in their best interests. 

Even when a teen is being abused and it is negatively affecting their mental health, their age does not make it easier for them to tell someone and get help. In some cases, the fact that they recognize that they are being abused may make it even more difficult for them. As adults we still have the responsibility to protect children at this age, and to do so we must understand the risks and ways we can best empower the teens in our life. 

Smart Devices & Online Access are a Serious Threat to Safety & Mental Health 

Access to the Internet, especially though social media platforms, has increased rates of bullying, risky behaviors, abuse, and exploitation. In addition, increased time spent on social media has shown to have a negative effect on self-esteem and a sense of connectedness with others. 

Pornography – yes, we have to talk about it

From the Sex-Wise Parent Author, by Janet Rosenzweig we know, “a major study found that almost all boys and two-thirds of girls over age 13 have been exposed to online porn. Most exposure happens between the ages of 14 and 17, but thousands of children 13 and younger are exposed to sexually explicit images daily. Boys are more likely to report that they sought out pornographic images while girls were more likely to report involuntary exposure.”

a major study found that almost all boys and two-thirds of girls over age 13 have been exposed to online porn.

“Early images influence a young person’s fundamental understanding of sexuality. People develop “sexual archetypes” or fundamental beliefs about sex, and viewing sexual images can become part of this development. If the people in the images look like people who could be friends or neighbors then the acts may appear acceptable and an involuntary feeling of sexual arousal may make the act even seem more agreeable.”

Sexual Response and Responsibility 

“It is important that your child know that as thinking, conscious human beings we have the opportunity to think about how to deal with our own arousal before we do anything with it.” -Dr Janet Rosenzweig, “The Sex-Wise Parent”

Adolescents need to understand that sexual arousal, even if intentional and certainly if not, does not mean the object of their lust has the responsibility to satisfy their desire. These are the years to empower adolescents to understand that maturity isn’t just about age, but accepting responsibility for our own actions and exercising our conscience when making decisions.