What Every Parent and Church Must Learn from the Reagan Gray Abuse Case
by Alison Sutherland, founder Prevention Starts with Parents
When abuse happens within the walls of a church—by someone in a trusted role—and the institution and leadership fails to act responsibly, a call to action is necessary.
The child sexual abuse committed by Reagan Gray and the disregard of the severity of the situation by Immanuel Baptist Church (IBC) in Little Rock, Arkansas raises many opportunities to discuss prevention, intervention, and protection for children from both parents and youth serving organizations.
At the time of the abuse, Gray was employed as a teacher at a local school and also volunteered with the student’s ministry at IBC. Gray served in positions of assumed trust, meaning her positions communicated to parents and the community that she would be a trusted individual to care for and protect children.
After the victim’s parents discovered inappropriate electronic communication between Gray and their child, they reported it to IBC’s then-lead pastor, Steven Smith. Gray reportedly admitted to the sexual abuse during counseling with Smith. Yet despite this, the church allowed her continued access to children, reinstated her as a volunteer, and failed to report the abuse to law enforcement. The abuse continued through platforms like Snapchat.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time IBC had mishandled abuse allegations.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time IBC had mishandled abuse allegations. Years earlier, a former assistant director of children’s ministry, Patrick Stephen Miller, was charged with abusing children at the church. The congregation wasn’t informed until years later.
Youth serving organizations without polices and procedures that explicitly document expectations on the selection, hiring, training and accountability of staff and volunteers and have behavioral codes of conduct available are organizations that assume abuse or misconduct won’t happen within their institution.
Let’s be clear: this is not just a failure of one individual. It’s a systemic failure of policies, leadership, and accountability. It raises two urgent questions:
- How do churches and youth-serving organizations prevent abuse?
- How can parents advocate for their child’s safety in these spaces?
What Churches (and All Youth Organizations) Must Do
- Establish Clear Policies
Every youth-serving organization needs written, specific policies about how adults are allowed to interact with children—especially in digital spaces. Policies must outline unacceptable behavior and how concerns or reports are handled. - Train Everyone—No Exceptions
Whether you're the senior pastor, a part-time volunteer, or someone in between, every adult with access to children must go through the same screening, training, and approval process. No one gets a pass because of their role or reputation. - Go Beyond Background Checks
Background checks catch only those who’ve already been caught. Prevention starts with robust vetting, reference checks, and ongoing supervision. - Create a Culture of Transparency and Reporting
Abuse must be reported to appropriate authorities. Church leadership are mandated reporters. Internal handling or "quiet counseling" is not an option. Churches must create a culture where reporting is the norm and survivors are supported, not silenced. - Use Behavioral Codes of Conduct
A Code of Conduct outlines clear behavioral boundaries for how adults interact with kids. It empowers others to intervene before a boundary turns into a crime. - Fulfill Mandated Reporter Role
Those who work with children or are responsible for their safety are mandated reporters (all staff and volunteers at a church). Ensure you understand who is responsible at your organization for making a formal report and if a report isn’t made, make one yourself. - Implement Care Teams
Organizations like GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in Christian Environments) recommend forming care teams— these could be neutral support groups who advocate for victims and hold leadership accountable when abuse is reported.
What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Children
- Talk About Safe vs Unsafe Behavior
Children should know what’s okay and what’s not—whether in person or online. Teach them to listen to their gut and to speak up when something feels wrong. - Keep the Conversation Going
Prevention isn’t a one-time chat. Regular conversations about safety, relationships, and trust make it easier for children to speak up when they need help. - Ask Questions at Your Church or Organization
Does your church have clear child protection policies? How do they handle reports of misconduct? Who do they notify? Are parents or the congregation notified? What training do staff and volunteers receive? - Say No to Private Communication
No adult should be communicating privately with your child, especially online. Transparency protects everyone. - Report Concerns Directly
Even after reporting concerns to the youth serving organization, you can also report it yourself to law enforcement or child protective services. You don’t need permission. You need courage—and your child needs your protection. - Trust Your Instincts—and Teach Your Child to Trust Theirs
If something feels off, speak up. And teach your child that you’ll always listen without judgment.
Children Need Courageous, Upstanding Adults
In the Reagan Gray case, the pain extended beyond the abuse. The judge reportedly denied the victim and his parents the right to deliver a victim impact statement during the sentencing. Add that to a church that failed to report or protect, and you have a devastating picture of how institutions can enable abuse through inaction. Even more devastating? Gray still reportedly had the support of some within the church—even as she entered a guilty plea.
The victim’s parents said it best:
“What's difficult to reconcile is how many adults repeatedly failed him -- people with power, responsibility, or influence who looked the other way. Institutions that protected themselves. Systems that made justice harder than it should have been.”
Prevention is possible. Accountability is possible. And safer environments for children are absolutely possible—when we choose to prioritize them.
Want to Learn More?
If you're a parent or part of a youth-serving organization and want to make sure you're doing everything you can to keep children safe, we’re here to help.
The Mama Bear Effect offers expert-led training and resources to equip adults with the knowledge and tools to prevent child sexual abuse and respond appropriately when concerns arise.
Reach out to [email protected] to learn more or schedule a training.
Let’s take every opportunity to hold ourselves accountable and keep children safe.
Thanks to Alison Sutherland of Prevention Starts with Parents for this guest blog post!